Data points

15 Aug

There are many ways to measure success when you are shifting your life to a healthier lifestyle. There are the performance measures….number of ounces of water consumed each day, number of calories consumed, number of calories burned, number of days with physical activity, number of sit ups or push-ups, and type of food consumed. These are the measures I like the most because I have complete control as to what they will look like. As an over-achiever perfectionist, I strive for the “A” (you know, “A” for Anne and all). This is where the observable choices are made, and if made well, will lead to good outcome measures. It is in these measures I am much more likely to give myself a break, looking at the big picture and saying “for that day, I did what I could” and I am content. Good enough.

 

Outcome measures like clothing size, blood pressure, blood work improvements, and total body weight I am much less enthusiastic about.  In fact, they make me nervous. Why?  Well, I don’t have complete control over them.  Theoretically I do because basic math says that if I eat less and move more I will lose weight. But that doesn’t always happen.  What is it about that stupid number on the scale that it becomes such a derailer?  Why do I have to make this such challenge every week?  And why do I freak out about it EVERY time I get on a scale? 

 

It starts with “oh my, I can’t believe I weigh that” to “wow, I lost 5 pounds so far!” to “feeling good, pounds are coming off” to “what do you mean only 1.5 pounds…the math says 3!” to “only down 30 pounds so far” and on and on. Ironically, I am totally okay with talking about improvements in blood work or going down a size. Those don’t really have an impact on my psyche. Bottom line, I freakin’ hate the scale. When I don’t hit the “A”, I second guess myself….big time…What did I do wrong? Can I really do this? Can I live without drinking lattes? Am I really worth something better? What if I’m not strong enough? What if I do all this and still don’t get what I want? What if I will always be the fat girl with glasses? 

 

There is no easy answer here, but if I want something different, I need to do something different. From now on, weight is just a data point.  There will be no judgments, observations, congratulations, despair, anxiety, pride or any other emotion about this stupid number.  It will be a statement of fact and that is it. Now, if I want feedback, talk to me all day about the choices I am making….calories consumed, miles walked, whatever….but I won’t say or think one word about that freakin’ number or any other individual data point. That’s just cheating myself. Instead, I will look. at my whole story, see the big picture, all of it. Because to get something different, I need to do something different, and here I have to work on thinking something different…a challenge that may be more difficult than kettle ball swings or burpies.

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2 Responses to “Data points”

  1. bunna99 August 16, 2012 at 2:12 am #

    Stop stepping on that scale! That number does not matter and only makes you crazy! Wright in and leave it up to Tony to decide if you are making progress…

    • Cindy August 17, 2012 at 1:18 pm #

      I don’t even own a scale. I weigh in 1 time a week with my trainer. If he is happy I am happy. I don’t even look at the scale, can’t tell you how much I weigh. I’m a stress eater, if I knew I would eat 😦 You are an inspiration to me and I’m trying to make myself a better person, when I talk to you I feel good about myself. I check your blog daily for understanding because I think you know what I too am going through. Keep up the good work, I’m VERY proud of you.

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