Limits

31 Jul

Limit: the point, edge, or line beyond which something cannot or may not proceed.

Tonight I was the crazy lady walking the track.  There was a frown on my face. My body language said “pissed off” and my pace was fast. I put on my angry music and took off walking (lame!). Every time I lapped another walker I would curse them in my head. At one point I caught myself swearing out loud.  Why all the grumpiness?  I am working with a new (and hopefully temporary) physical limit.

The instructions were to limit my activity to walking or swimming.  Total crap I tell you. I have worked too long and too hard to be told I can walk or swim.  I am finally hitting some real fitness goals and am “this close” to running a half marathon and you tell me to walk or swim, no weight lifting, no sit ups, no kickboxing, no yoga? Yeah, okay. That sounds grrrrrreat….. Sure, let me give up anything that makes me break a sweat. Awesome.

The longer I walked, the more I started to relax. It’s amazing how a simple walk can clear your head. I saw myself walking the track a year ago. My pace was much slower and I was sweating like crazy. I faced a limit of “cannot proceed” because of all the extra weight I carried. I was out of shape and I hated almost every minute of the workout but I did it anyway. I showed up and worked out every day because I did not want to be limited by my body any longer.

Fast forward to today where I faced a limit of “may not proceed”. It took all I had not to run. That’s why the fiercely independent (stubborn) me was so mad today. I mean, if you think about it, I earned this… I did the work… I lost the weight… Well Anne, you can think what you want, but the instructions were to walk or swim, end of story. I never thought I would be in a place where I was itching to be active, but here I am. This limit has been really hard on my heart and on my mind. I don’t like limits anyway, and knowing that pushing a limit now can make an injury even worse…  gggrrrrr…

To get something different, you have to do something different. Instead of focusing on the limit itself, I shifted my focus to success within the limit. It took 3o minutes of walking and thinking to shift my focus, but I did. I showed up, followed directions, and walked (okay, I cheated and did pushups too), all within my limits.

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