Archive | October, 2013

Resisting the good

22 Oct

Last week I was facilitating a leadership workshop on encouragement. We were discussing practical, every day ways to be encouraging to our co-workers or family and friends. We talked about saying thank you, using people’s first names, writing notes, and just plain old sharing of yourself as ways to encourage others.  Somebody talked about going through the line at Starbucks and the person ahead of them paid for their coffee.  Somebody else shared a story of how they received a compliment from another parent when they had no idea that what they were doing for their kid was helping other kids. All great ways we can encourage each other.

Then one of the participants mentioned her discomfort in being recognized or in receiving encouragement. She talked about how she didn’t like the attention, but has now learned to just say “thank you” even though she is still uncomfortable. This seemed to really strike a chord with the rest of the crowd.  People started sharing how uncomfortable they are in being recognized for their work, either publicly or in private. They didn’t like receiving compliments either. Everybody in the room seemed to agree that giving encouragement felt good, but receiving it was uncomfortable. This got me thinking…why do we resist good?

Do you dismiss compliments? Do you spend more time looking at what is missing instead of what you have? Do you let others recognize or celebrate your achievements big and small? Do you deflect attention from yourself? Does accepting assistance from someone else make you feel uncomfortable? Do you focus more on your shortcomings than your strengths? if you answered yes to any of these questions, you my friend, need to start accepting good…and start doing it RIGHT NOW.

To get something different, you need to do something different. Start accepting the good instead of resisting it. Accept the compliments and believe them. Let others help you…they are showing they care about you. Accept recognition for your accomplishments…you earned it. See the good in yourself and celebrate it. It takes a conscious decision every day, sometimes seven times a day, to look for and accept good. Is this freaking you out?  Then start small.  Think about 1 thing you do well, 1 area you have made progress, 1 thing of which you are proud, 1 compliment you received recently.  Own it. Celebrate it. Share it.